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Saturday, ↑07/06/08↓
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@10:32 pm ↔ Just so you know...
...I AM still alive.

Back in December, I left Arizona for a variety of reasons I'm not getting into here.  I'm back in New Mexico now, attending university classes down in Taos, and planning on going to Northern Arizona University in the fall to continue previously-started religion studies.

This entry should be a lot longer but really, that's the gist of it.  I'm alive, Judah's alive, it's good.

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Friday, ↑10/08/07↓
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@12:51 pm ↔ ARGH - I hate Bank of America, Qwest, and money in general
I hate money, and I hate Bank of America.

So. Last month I had some financial problems because of the break in work while school was out. So I called Qwest (phone/DSL) to see if I could pay my bill at the end of the month instead of earlier - I was told sure, that's fine, because I have a perfect payment record. All goes as planned and I pay on the 27th, that's taken care of.

Fast forward to yesterday around 11pm, where I go into my Bank of America account to set up the payment for THIS month on the 15th, once my second paycheck has come in. Imagine my shock when I find out $133.74 is going to be taken out of my account that contains just under $19. Early, at that. Eventually, I untangle that while Qwest got my payment on the 27th, they print out the next round of bills on the 22nd. Bank of America had not posted that amount or I would have noticed and taken care of it before.

So I called Qwest and they pretty much said that I can either leave the extra on as a credit towards my next bill, or get a refund, which takes about 30 days - both of which leave me, in the bluntest of terms, fucked. So now I'm sitting here staring at my bank account, which has a bit of money and will soon be WAY DOWN in the negatives, along with the ridiculous overdraft charge from Bank of America that will kick in, $35 and probably another $35 because I can't pay the overdraft fee at the time, because they're fuckers like that. Meanwhile, I need Zoloft and have no idea what to do short of whoring myself on the streets of Mesa =p

Anyhow. Just me bitching. Now, I have to find a way to come up with the $200 or so to cover that amount, fees, and anti-panic drug prescriptions that need to be picked up this weekend. I have no idea how. Mom's broke, she can't help me because she came over here just recently, and she helped me a shitload last month when I had those two weeks of no work and no money coming in.

Fuck it. As soon as I get my credit card debt to BoA paid off, I am LEAVING them. I am so tired of their multitude of overdraft fees, and the fact that they've pretty much said to me that no, you can't trust their online banking system to reflect what is accurately going on in your account. WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT THEN.

Fuck it x2. Anyone have any ideas of how to make a quick $200? Can't sell my eggs because of the physical disability. Plasma donation is right out because of the needlephobia. Gonna take a load of books to the used bookstore, but that'll get me maybe $30, max. My paycheck on the 15th will maybe take some of that off but it won't cover all of it, and I have more bills to pay before it comes in anyhow. Argh. Why can't I just win fucking powerball or something?

Fuck it x3. There's not really anything to go here, but it needed completion. Off to find financial backing for operation "Stay Alive to Spite Bank of America."
current mood → angry

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Wednesday, ↑25/07/07↓
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@11:26 pm ↔ For my Niko-chi

current mood → content
current music → Zakk Wylde - I Thank You Child

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Thursday, ↑31/05/07↓
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@8:21 pm ↔ AHEM.
http://community.livejournal.com/innocence_jihad/103099.html

The day that fandoms start happily associating themselves with pedophiles is the day that I get off and burn the fucking ship we're part of. This is WRONG, people, and I'm disgusted that people aren't saying that. Harry Potter slash is entirely different than a group devoted to saying how sexy people find six year olds and what they'd like to do to them.

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Sunday, ↑25/02/07↓
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@10:19 pm
There's no one singing war songs now like people used to do,
No "Over There," no "Praise the Lord," no "Glory Hallelu."
Perhaps at last we've asked ourselves what we should have asked before,
With the pain and death this madness brings, what were we ever singing for?

- M*A*S*H, "Dear Uncle Abdul," Father Mulcahy

Was watching M*A*S*H just recently (I've developed a serious love for that show since I moved to Arizona and began watching it) and that was sung, it just struck me as being really pretty, so I'm posting it as much for me to remember as anything else :D

Not much going on right now, just school and work as usual.  Niko and I have been having an idea!explosion lately, which has been awesomely fun and exciting and making me not want to go to bed each night so we can stay up babbling at each other.

In the interim, I've been playing Suikoden V, and I'm happy.  It's not Suikoden II, no, but it's a DEFINITE step back in the right direction.  I just got done with the Queen's Campaign and am on the cut-scene right after.  Damn it, Sialeeds.  Anyhow, the political intrigue and the storyline and the characters are all good, I think.  If there's going to be a Suikoden VI, this has given me hope that it will be a decent game.

I may be getting a bed.  Wish me luck.

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Friday, ↑19/01/07↓
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@1:24 am ↔ Medical stuff
Back from 4 or 5 hours in the emergency room, after having stomach pains so badly late this afternoon that all I could do was cry and gasp. I have been officially diagnosed via ultrasound and whatnot as having gallstones. Eventually, my gall bladder needs to come out -- it isn't an omgrightnow thing, since the stones and the pain are the only symptoms (no infection or anything), but..sometime in the next few months.

My aunt who lives nearby drove me there and waited, thank god, because my father's wife refused (argh, I still can't believe that). No date has been set yet, but since it can be whenever I want it within the next few months, I'm hoping to set it in April when I have a 2-week break from school, so I don't mess up educational stuff.

I've been looking up some on it, the symptoms are what I've mentioned and I'm just supposed to avoid greasy/fatty foods. Thankfully, the pain comes in attacks that last from 1-4 hours, so I have in-between time where I'm not horribly miserable. Tonight was just..ugh, I haven't been in pain that bad. I called my mom at work in New Mexico and all I could do was gasp yes and no to her questions. But the morphine has helped wonderfully, and I imagine some good sleep will do the same thing, because I had the mother of all panic attacks tonight due to the pain.

So, in short, it's a pain in the ass and surgery scares me (I have a recurring fear about being put under and then not waking up again), but I know what it IS now, and what to do till then. On the plus side, it gives me even more impetus to modify my diet to something a lot healthier. I'm just really happy I know what it is, I've had these stomach pains for four years or so, and if removing my gallbladder makes them go away, I'm all for it.


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Saturday, ↑13/01/07↓
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@3:37 pm ↔ Tattoos and whatnot
New tattoo started yesterday :D We have the background and all the outlining done, and so far it is made of awesome and win.  I'm not gonna do any pictures till it's all finished, so you will just have to wait to see it.  At the moment, my back feels like a slab of raw meat, which is not all that pleasant, but the end result is worth it, dammit.

Anyhow, not much else to say.  Been dealing with some minorly-serious (contradiction, I know) stomach problems that aren't going away, but I'm getting through them.  I think.  I hope, at last.  Class is going well, I learned how to do rollovers and other fun Flash stuff on Thursday and that was fun (you can see the result of my work here -- I know, "wtf" isn't a strong enough term, just wait till you see the end), it's surprisingly easy aside from the action scripting.

Nothing more, really, aside from the testimonial I wrote for the Video Game Voters Network that I'm mostly posting here to save for myself:

I have played video games since I was a young child, when the Nintendo Entertainment System was brought to the United States.  My interests in them have grown and diversified as I've grown older, leading to my eventual choice to pursue a bachelor's degree in video game design, with a focus on writing.

To me, video games are the ultimate entertainment - they combine the interactivity of, say, a board game, with the entertainment value of television.  In the best cases, they also bring to the table good stories and strong characters.  At their best, video games provide not only entertainment, but building of various individual or group skills, as well as challenges to the player to think in a new way.  At their worst, video games are entertainment alone - no better or worse than television or a video.

As a writer, my goal is to bring thoughtful, realistic emotion and ideas to my writing for the video game industry.  As a member of one of the first "generations" coming out of school programs with a video game specific curriculum, I see and hear the same from my colleagues, the driving desire to see games become even more interactive and exciting.

I cannot, in any way, see this as a bad thing - nor, by connection, do I see this as a situation needing government intervention.  Parents have been, and must continue to be, the arbiters of what their children are playing.  To restrict the video game industry while leaving other entertainment industries with as much or more violent content free to self-regulate is at best bizarre, at worst a gross misuse of congressional power.

Video games have the capability to be the newest innovation in learning and teaching, and to force limits on them at the most important surge in their growth since the serious start of console and computer gaming in the United States would be nothing short of crippling the next generation of learning tools.


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Thursday, ↑21/12/06↓
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@7:20 pm ↔ Leaving for Christmas & one more thing
Okay, so I'm heading out for Christmas in t-minus 5 hours and counting. I'll be in and out online while I'm over in New Mexico, of course, but in case I don't talk to some of you or whatnot, have a wonderful Christmas :D I'm excited about getting over to Mom's, and not just because she's promised me really good food. Chicken and dumplings, mmmmm. Judah's at the vet's being boarded, I have everything I need, and all that's left is to pack my clothes and whatnot and leave!

That's all for now, I think, except for one thing. If any of you think of it, spare some good thoughts/prayers/etc for this little guy, he and his owner are dealing with a horrible situation at a time of year that's supposed to be joyful.

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Friday, ↑15/12/06↓
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@6:37 pm ↔ TEH.
Firstly:

Do any of you use iTunes? A relative got me a $15 gift card for the iTunes store and I don't use the service, nor do I want to. So if you'd like one, I'll give you whatever info you need from it (I assume a serial number or whatnot, I haven't looked closely) or ship it to you, for the equivalent cost - seems silly to keep it since I'm never going to use it.

Birthday was decent, but had the same vague sense of disappointment that adult birthdays are turning out to have. You get excited about them just like you used to as a kid, and then everything is rather practical, leading to the strange feeling of "..that's all?" at the end of the day when there's been no cake or party or anything like that. But it was good enough - I got 4 bottles of salsa and a bunch of home-made chocolate chip cookies from Mom, which is juuust what I wanted, and a phone from Dad (not so much with the wanting, but it's cordless so I don't have to move if I don't want to, and he did take me out to dinner at least). So I've been gorging on salsa and cookies (not together!) for the last few days, which is great.

So, my birthday's done, now I just have to get to Christmas. I'm excited to get over to Mom's place, I leave in six days. It'll be neat to see snow again, and of course to see her. I still need to get her Christmas present, there've been a series of delays that have stopped me so far. First idea ended up being out of stock. Second idea wouldn't be there for two to five weeks. Third idea I need to sound her out on tonight to see if it's something she'd like. Everyone else is bought for and done with, sitting in my apartment, with the exception of the last 1/3 of Niko's present, which I'm hoping will be here on Monday or Tuesday. Then I can ship it out with my sister's and the Christmas cards I need to send, and everyone will be happy! :D

Class is fun so far, it's Flash and whatnot. I'm making a pigeon-based fighting game (yes, you can go "WTF" all you want, god knows my instructor did) as a fun little mini game, which has led to me drawing pigeons for hours in Illustrator. It's a bit of a weird adjustment to make, but it's fun!

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Tuesday, ↑28/11/06↓
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@11:53 pm ↔ Chou chou chou ii kanji!~
I'm feeling kind of burned out lately. I talked about it earlier with Niko, and it just makes sense - I haven't had any real break from school for months, and the one day off for Thanksgiving just kind of threw it into relief, not to mention that Thanksgiving was just as busy in its own way. That's the one thing I kind of miss about a "normal" college, things like summer breaks and whatnot so you get a chance to decompress and ignore school for a little bit. I'm looking forward to Christmas - I can go see Mom and then come back here and still have over a week to spare laying around and playing with Judah. It just feels like a serious effort to get up and go into school every day, you know? I guess I just have to grind on until break. At least our next class is centred on Photoshop and Illustrator, so it'll be fun for me since I know those two things. Right now I'm just sort of mentally burned out about things, and tired almost all the time.

Other than that, I'm doing okay! I've started back on trying to get in shape, even started a journal about it and everything. I ordered a belly-dancing DVD from Amazon since it's low-knee-impact so I'm hoping to squeeze that in at least four or so times per week, at the very least on my 3 days off. I really want to do something about my weight, I'm tired of being like this. And now I feel like I should insert a hearty, Morning Musume-style "ganbatte ne!" right here XD So wish me luck :D "Onegai, minna-san!!!!! *MoMusu cuteness and calls of "ganbatte Ten-chan!" from the crowd!"* XD

I'm excited about Christmas. I have everyone's presents either ordered or waiting to be ordered once I get my paycheck in a few days, and I need to find a card store here and go do that, then I'll be done aside from wrapping things. Just to torment him, I will say that Niko's presents are awesome. Made of awesome. Made of awesome and WIN, even. And fuzzy happiness! I'm actually rather proud of my gift-giving-fu this year, I think I did a good job getting people things. I'm asking for a Wii, rice cooker and a certificate to Drs Foster and Smith so I can load up on bird supplies.

Speaking of birds, a cute thing happened today. So, I get my groceries delivered from Safeway since it's cheap if you order all your month's supplies at once and the extra $5 it cost is more than enough to cover the crippling pain that grocery shopping leaves me with. The usual delivery guy is this biiiig black guy (think Ving Rhames-style) who Judah is absolutely Terrified of. Seriously. The social little bird who loves everyone gets FREAKED when this guy comes in and starts hissing and shrieking. So this guy hadn't brought groceries for the last two months, and today he was all "Hey, how are you doing, haven't seen you in a while!" and asking how I was. Then, once he'd set all my stuff down, he was all grinning and "I saw your address and was all 'Oh, it's that lady!' and remembered you had a bird, so here!" and whips out a honey stick (a stick-thing covered in seeds held together by honey/molasses and other sticky stuff). He bought it for Judah! Cutest thing, ever. Judah continued to hiss until he left, then settled down and gorged, it was so neat. I'm totally going to get the guy a card to give when he next brings groceries, because that was just really nice of him. Even if Judah is an ungrateful shithead, I'm not!

Man, I am tired enough that I think I can FEEL the dark circles under my eyes. Either that or my sinuses have imploded, which is not all that uncommon. Annnnyhow, I'll end this with a meme that I snagged from sashwizzled on my list, but didn't copy so I'll give the basics:

Give me a few attributes of a song you'd like to hear - no specific requests, no asking for bands or songs or anything like that. Just a mood or a feeling or a description. For example: "Dark and erotic" or "fuzzy and cute and guaranteed to make even the emoest emo-kid smile like a stoned hippy!" I will then upload the song I choose for you and you can...er..listen to it, obviously.

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